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01
Houseplant Energy — would wither instantly
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02
Snack Dispenser — here only to eat all your snacks
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03
Emotional Support Otter — vibes only, no skills
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04
Netflix Buffering Symbol — promises help, never loads
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05
Certified Panic Button Pusher — makes everything worse
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06
TikTok Camper — brings ring light, forgets tent
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07
Portable Chaos Machine — distracts predators, but also you
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08
Trail Mix Thief — contributes nothing, steals everything
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09
Campfire Story Liar — tells tall tales, can’t light actual fire
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10
Bear Snack Candidate — literally bait
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11
Sleeping Bag Hog — cozy but immobile
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12
Mildly Helpful Vibes — encourages you, achieves nothing
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13
Accidental Compass — always points the wrong way
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14
Walking Alarm System — loud, occasionally useful
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15
Backup Snack Carrier — reliable pack mule energy
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16
Amateur Forager — edible? poisonous? 50/50 vibes
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17
Tent Enthusiast — can’t pitch one, but loves the concept
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18
Creek Navigator — somehow always wet, sometimes helpful
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19
Wilderness Intern — clumsy but eager to learn
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20
Campfire Master — skilled in the art of marshmallow survival
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21
Squirrel-Level Prepper — buries snacks (and shares them)
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22
Nature's bodyguard — even if you can't tell them apart
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23
Bear Grylls 2.0 — drinks questionable water with confidence
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24
Bear Grylls’s Sensei — taught the man how to eat bugs, legend tier
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